Thoughts of The Day

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I am always attracted to the arrogance and negligence. Truthfully, I have no knowledge in the how and why. Although it sounds very eccentric to admit, they were perfect in a way that cannot be depicted in literature. It wasn't very hard to notice that I was filled with infatuation which leads to nowhere, it was very saddening and unfortunate, but surprisingly, I am now grateful and excited that I get to see more of what the world has to offer. However, this time is different, at least by the look of it. Pretty much perfect for someone like me; probably perfect would be very impractical, I'd say ideal. Flawless is not the correct way to describe something or someone because we all know everyone, everything has stains whether we want to believe it or not. I wasn't and will never look for the impeccable because it seems like there will be so many demands. and working twice harder to satisfy is probably necessary. I wasn't paying attention that I am in that situation, trying to maintain balance and keep up with this figure, afraid of failures or mistakes that I'd make, horrified that I am the only taint that'd ruin everything. I do not crave affection or concupiscence, I only need the assurance, attention, and let's not talk about priority because I already know where I'd end up in that long list. It is life but I can't blame it on life because let's face it, it is so absurd and preposterous just by saying it in my head. We haven't even started on the fact that I am a nineteen year old who is still working on her maturity or womanhood or whatever it is you want to call it these days. But I am still nineteen, no matter how hard I try to change myself to be a woman, I can't dominate the life cycle of my age and how it connected to what I desire. Yes, of course I can pretend that I am the most sophisticated, experienced, intelligent, and "developed" human being on this planet. Yet, here I am trying to pursue just a dot of your sensitivity. LOVE,

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