A Letter to My Sixteen-Year Old Self

Picture was from here

Dear a smaller version of me,

I remember when you worried so much about college, and you kept asking yourself, "Which college should I go to? Can I do a double major? What major I should be focusing on? Can I live in a dorm instead of living under someone else's roof? Accounting, fashion marketing, graphic design, or hospitality? Should I stay or move to another country?" You were so gullible and naive to think that everything will go smooth just like you planned. Worrying and overthinking were your biggest mistakes and probably, regrets. You basically didn't live in the present, you lived in the future. Honestly, you will be surprised to see where you are right now, how many friends you have, and how happy you are. You shouldn't have put so many pressures on yourself, and think more about the moments you should have been enjoying. However, whatever it is that you have done or thought in the past, makes you who you are today, and I am proud of the person you're becoming. 

Remember all those dramas that someone put you in when you were in High School? Well, it'll be a lesson for you not to trust someone so easily. The good thing is that you'll make so many new friends because of that incident. Also, you'll learn to forgive and move on with your life. Some people were jealous of who you are and the people you were surrounded with. They even tried to put you down so many times. All you gotta do is ignore them and enjoy your life with the people who actually care about you more than anything. 

You were crying. A lot. Yes, how could I forget that? All those stupid arguments, fights, break ups and make ups make you insane. Your uncle and aunt were right, you might have hated them at the moment because they didn't let you to do whatever it is that teenagers do these days. They did that to protect you from all those bad memories and heart breaks. Now that you're grown and see everything with a different perspective, you will realize that they were right, your parents were right. You were so stubborn to keep everything to yourself and try to make things work while you knew that it's just about time when everything you and him built together will fall apart just like what everyone said. Fortunately, every story has a lesson in it. You will realize that someone better will come around and all you had was not love, it was just attachment because love isn't supposed to make you cry every week and make you feel ashamed of yourself. It should bring you up and make you a better person. You will be scared to the point where you are done hoping for a good guy to come in your life and put all the pieces back to where it should be. You stop expecting things because you realize that expactations always lead to disappointments. Everything happened for a reason, and you should see that you became stronger and wiser as the time past by. 

At that moment, you probably thought that China was a bad idea. The cultures and the people annoyed you especially with their ignorant, disrespectful manners. Yes, I still agree that they can be a little hard to deal with, but you will eventually love the country and be interested in the language. Going there for your college was not a bad choice after all. You will meet new people who share the same interest as you, you will see that the country is also filled with foreigners, and some Chinese are actually nice. Don't just judge a book by its cover because what you hear or see at first might not be true. Research, explore, and see it with your own eyes before you believe in anything.

I also wanted to say that everything you had done in the past has made you a strong and independent young woman. All your experiences are either a blessing or a lesson :)

LOVE,