Thoughts of The Day

 

"Chrisylla, what do you want to be when you grow up?" My teacher asked a 12 year old me. I hated it when I have to talk in front of the classroom and tell everyone what my dreams are. I froze for a moment because the question she threw at me was not expected at all. Of course, I didn't know what I wanted to be. I don't even know what I want to do until now. "A doctor," I said with no second thought. I explained how I want to save people's life and be useful for the society. Truthfully, I said doctor because I couldn't think of any other occupations right at that second, and doctor was the only word that came up to my brain when she asked me that annoying question out of the blue. There's no way in this world that I would want to be a doctor. I despise blood, hospital, needles, ghosts and most importantly, cutting people. I still don't know how real doctors do it, I used to think that they have some kind of angel or magic that help them save all these people from the death. Yeah, I adore them very much, but I don't want to do what they do because it is scary, and I'm not really good with talking, talking to the family of these patients and tell them that I will be responsible for these people's lives. It is scary.

My future is still a puzzle for me. I'm jealous of those people who can passionately tell me about their dreams, their future career, and what they want to achieve in life. I always find myself wondering, "how can I know? what's the trick?" because honestly, I am so desperate to find out. Do I really want to be an employee who works in a company or a bank to analyze the customers' financial condition? Is that why I'm taking International Trade and Economics? Is that the job that I have been waiting for since I was a kid? Is that something that I want to wake up to for the rest of my life? I admit, thinking about these stuff is pretty over-whelming. All I know is that I want to be successful, but what does successful mean? Having the money to buy yourself a $4.5 million Lamborghini Veneno and a luxurious and humongous mansion? Is that what happiness is all about, wealth and power? Sure, my life would be so much easier if I have the money that Bill Gates has right now, but will it make my life happier? Or perhaps successful means having a job that you have been wanting and you're good at what you do. Each and every one of us has different opinions in things, maybe some of you think that successful is when you can balance your work life and your personal life perfectly. You can never get a definite, exact answer when you ask people "what does successful mean to you?" Right?

“A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between he does what he wants to do.”
―Bob Dylan

“...the best way to succeed is to discover what you love and then find a way to offer it to others in the form of service, working hard, and also allowing the energy of the universe to lead you.” 
―Oprah Winfrey

I don't want to live in regrets and other people's expectations of me. Even though everything is still grey in my eyes, I believe that I'll eventually figure out what makes me the happiest. And whatever it is, I'll catch it no matter what.

What does successful means to you? What makes you the happiest?

LOVE,